Louis Tomlinson- Do You Love Me?
by firegirl956
Summary: Brooke is a eighteen year old girl with an extremely tragic past. She is always quiet, shy, and nearly suicidal. Her friend Abby takes her to a concert, and something happens that lights up her world like nothing else. Rated M for swearing and dark topics, but no sex. I'm gonna warn you; this story is very dramatic and very dark.
1. Prologue

**Helloo ladies and gentlemen! Well, mostly ladies. Welcome to my brand new One Direction fanfic. Yeah, it seems like me of all people shouldn't be writing One Direction fanfiction, but I've recently taken a liking to them. I think they're cute and funny, and hey, it's not like I like Justin Bieber.  
Anyways, on with the very short Prologue!**

* * *

I had no idea what my senior year in High School would be so stressful. I thought that it would be easy; with senior skip days and free lunch.

But what I didn't expect was people yelling at you and saying 'What do you want to do in the future?'

My answer to that was a very confused 'I don't know!'

Even my very frazzled and unorganized best friend Abby knew what she wanted to do with her life.

Every time someone asked her that hated question, she would say:

"I'm going to become a famous actress and find One Direction and marry them!"

I tried to tell her that it wasn't going to happen, but she seemed _very_ convinced that it would happen. So she covered every square inch of her bedroom walls with One Direction posters. She covered her dresser with One Direction dolls, and she filled up her camera roll with pictures of Liam, Niall, Harry, Zayn, and Louis.

It seemed like every word that would come out of her mouth would be about One Direction.

"Hey Brooke, guess what Liam did at the Los Angeles concert last night?"

"Hey Brooke, guess what? Louis divorced Eleanor Calder!"

"OMG, Brooke, Taylor Swift is such a cunt! She is so mean to Harry!"

That one kinda made me angry.

I liked Taylor Swift, and I kinda felt that it was Harry's fault that she was so angry at him.

"Well he did call her fucking boring, didn't he?" I asked.

She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

But my best friend's obsessions are beside the point. I tried to ignore the frequently asked question, but after Spring Break, I was expected to have an answer.

It got so bad that even Abby would even stop talking about One Direction to pressure me into having an answer.

"Where are you going to college?" Abby kept asking.

"I'm going to study abroad. Probably in London." I said.

And the mention of the British city just set her off again.

"OMG BROOKIE! THAT'S WHERE ONE DIRECTION ARE!"

And she would always shout it in my ear.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm even friends with Abby in the first place. She was always loud, always obnoxious, and would always fangirl over One Direction. I guess it was because she was the only thing I had, and I kinda felt bad for her. She was really popular at school once, but her old friends deserted her.

Just like Aidan deserted me.

Aidan was my best friend throughout all of elementary school, middle school, and my freshman year of high school. We started dating in my sophomore year, but then broke up at the end of last year. The way he broke up with me was brutal, and I'm not going to go into any details about it. It still breaks my heart, and it just brings back memories that are too painful I recounter.

Anyways, let's get to the actual story.

* * *

**Chapter 1 should be up in a few seconds if my laptop stops being a douche. **


	2. Chapter 1: Was He Looking At Me?

**Okay, here's the first chapter! I hope you like it!**

* * *

It was the last week of school in 2012, and I was so happy. School was almost over, and I was going to head to London soon. I was excited to go to a different country, because I had never been out of the country. I've never been on a plane either, so I was really excited but really nervous. I tried not to think about it, but as the school year came to a close, I had to start thinking. I was going to major in music, because I was very musical. I always got solo's for Chorus performances, but then I would chicken out at the last minute, and hide in my room while someone else took my solo. I was looking at a few places, but the places that really stood out were Kingston and West Thames. They seemed fit.

Anyways, it was the last week of school. Abby was really excited, and so was everyone else in my school.

But I think Abby was more excited than anyone.

She called me up yesterday screaming that she got tickets to a One Direction concert. She screamed her head off in my ear, and I tried to calm her down.

"Oh, and did I tell you Brookie?" Abby asked excitedly in my ear. "I got another ticket for you!"

I was astonished. Wow, someone actually cares for me. Shocker.

I thanked Abby, and then hung up. I guess I was excited. Not for the concert, mind you. The tickets Abby got were for Madison Square Garden, the nicest place ever. And the concert wasn't until seven, so we had a lot of time to just walk around the city. Despite me living on Long Island, I've never been to the city. My mom was always too busy with work or my younger sibling to take me. My dad... I'm not allowed to talk about him, and neither do I want to. It just drives me into hysterics.

So I was really excited, and it was on the last day of school.

(Fast forward 5 days)

I woke up on June 8th really excited. My parents let me miss the last day, because graduation was the night before. Usually, seniors use the last day of school to say goodbye to friends.

Well, Abby was my only friend, and she was going with me.

Anyways, I woke up early that day. I got a shower, got dressed, brushed out my chocolate locks, put mascara on my thick frame of lashes that lines my emerald irises, and quickly put cover up on my wrists. I assessed myself. I was wearing a mint off-the-shoulder shirt, and white shorts. Once I deemed myself presentable for New York City, I went downstairs. My little sister was at the table, eating a fried egg with ketchup. My little sister Lily was just like me... But in the good ways. She had flowing brown locks, bright green irises, and very pink lips. She looked like garbage this morning, but she didn't care. Lily was also skipping the last day of school, and that was okay because she was only in seventh grade. Anyways, she looked up from her food when she saw me.

"Going somewhere?" She asked suspiciously.

"Um, yeah? I'm going to the city, remember?" I said.

"Oh yeah! You get to go see One Direction in concert." She sighed dreamily. "And you get to see Louis Tomlinson up close."

She looked sad and really excited at the same time.

"I'll bring you something home, Lil. Signed T-shirt?" I asked. She smiled.

"Louis is the cutest out of all of them, Brooke. Just to let you know."

I nodded my head. The doorbell rang, and I ran and opened it.

There stood Abby.

Abby was a blonde, and a bottle-blonde at that. Her hair was bleached so blonde that it was almost white. She had huge blue eyes, and a set of red lipstick lips. She always put on too much makeup, but this time it was WAY over the top. It was like she was asking to get raped.

"Hey Brookie!" She said excitedly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Y-yeah." I said, still distracted by her makeup. "Let's just go."

So we got in her bright pink Convertible, and we headed out. The strength of the wind blew my hair and made my eyes water. I enjoyed the trip thoroughly, and when we got to the city, my hair was windswept and my clothes were a little frazzled. We got out of the car, and went exploring.

(Fast forward about eight hours.)

Sightseeing was exhausting, especially in New York. There was so much to see and so much to do, that it felt like I needed more time to do it. But by 6:00, our legs were aching and my hair was messy. So we picked the nearest bathroom, and cleaned up. We then headed to Madison Square Garden, and got our seats. We had decent seats, and we could see the stage pretty well.

The concert started at exactly seven, and boy was it LOUD.

As soon as the band got on the stage, my ears died. The guys were quite attractive, so I could see why the girls loved them. They were also really good singers, and one of the guys caught my eye.

He had mousy hair that was covered by a red beanie. He had on a white shirt with red stripes, and red pants. He seemed like the goof of the group, and my eyes followed him across the stage. Abby was screaming, but I calmly analyzed him. He didn't see to have many solos. Actually, he had the least out of all the band members.

The concert was over at nine o'clock, and I was honestly relieved. The concert was WAY too loud.

Abby told me the guys were spotted getting onto their bus, so she dragged me over to them.

The boys kinda stood there and waved to the fans while the fans screamed their heads off. The one with the beanie whispered something into the curly haired guy's ear, and they both grinned.

Abby stood there screaming, and eventually, the guys came over and started signing stuff. Abby fumbled for something for them to sign, while I just watched them.

But then it happened.

It seemed to happen in an instant. He looked at me, and froze. His hazel eyes grew, and I froze. Why was he staring? My anxiety lit like a match, and my fingernails moved towards my wrist. He moved like a ghost toward me, while the other band members told him that it was time to go. Well, one of them did. The blonde one was telling him to get back, as the fans were certainly going to rip him to shreds. The one with darker skin and black hair was shouting his name, and signaling that it was time to go. The other two kind of just stood there in shock.

The mousy-haired guy approached me, and Abby was screaming her head off right beside me. I could barely hear her through the cotton that had appeared in my ears. As he came closer, I realized that the young lad was beautiful. He had high cheekbones, slightly crooked teeth, and sparkling hazel eyes. He walked with such ease and relaxation, that I longed to be him.

He came right in front of me, stopping just a few feet from the metal barrier that separated him from the fans. People were jostling me, but my eyes were only for him.

"Hi." He said, his accent rich and high.

The fans behind me screamed.

"H-hello." I said shakily. Dammit, why did my voice always shake when I tried to talk to new people?!

"How are you?" He asked. The more he spoke, the cuter his voice sounded. It was very young and crisp and very British.

"I'm good. Um... which one are you?" I asked. Abby stopped screaming, and looked at the exchange between the two of us.

"Er, I'm Louis." He said awkwardly.

"I'm Brooklyn." I whispered. Everything seemed to just slow down. The fans screamed and cried behind me, but their volume didn't bother me. All that seemed to matter was him. Someone appeared at his side. The guy was tall, with light curly brown hair and brown eyes.

"Louis." The guys said quietly. "What're you doing? We have to go!"

"Give me a second, Liam." Louis said, not even looking at him. He was staring at me. Liam left.

"I have to go, Brooklyn." Louis said. "But I'm never going to forget you. Will you wait for me?"

Wait, hold on a second.

Wait for what?

"Wait for you to what?" I asked, feeling stupid.

He took my hand.

"Wait for me. I feel something for you." He said.

"I will wait." I whispered.

Louis's grip tightened on my hand, but he released it a second later. His eyes became misty, and he looked like he was going to cry for a second. He took the red beanie from his head, and took a short look at it.

"To remember me by." He said, putting the red beanie on my head. He kissed my hand, and then walked back with his bandmates.

* * *

**AWW! I would DIE if that was me! Please review, because it makes me happy, and I hope you have a fatastimastimastic Friday!**


	3. Chapter 2: Take Me With You

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been so busy with school, that I haven't had access to my laptop. And I went to PA this weekend, so yeah. I have Chapter 3 of this story done as well, but I'm not posting that yet;)**

* * *

I can't really remember the walk back to my car, or the chilliness of the air. All I remembered is that I was perfectly warm, with Louis's beanie on my head. It was really comfortable. I also remember that Abby tried to take it from me, but I wouldn't let her. We got back to our car, and set off. My fingers were on my wrist, the nails scratching it. I wish I had my razor or my paperclip or my pocketknife. It's hard to cut my wrists with just my fingernails.

When we got home, Abby left without a word. I didn't know if she was jealous or what, but I knew that I was the one with Louis's beanie on my head.

I went inside, and found my mom on the couch and my sister on the chair. She looked to me, and then got up.

"Did you bring me something?" She asked excitedly.

Crap. I forgot about Lily.

"No, sorry Lil." I said, my voice hoarse. She looked disappointed for a second, but then noticed the beanie on my head.

"Where'd you get that?" She asked. I took off the beanie, and cradled it close.

"Louis Tomlinson gave it to me." I whispered.

Lily's eyes grew, and her jaw dropped.

"Wha—?!" She asked in amazement.

I didn't feel like explaining, so I put the beanie back on and went to the kitchen to make myself my tea before bed. I can't go to bed without tea.

After that, I went upstairs to my solitude. I went to my bathroom, and looked in the mirror.

I looked paler that usual, and my cheeks were flushed. My green irises were brighter than usual, and I sighed. How could he fall in love this this mess?

I got out my razor, and I washed the makeup off my wrist. The scars appeared, and I took my razor and swiped at the empty place. Relief flooded through my like blood. The razor blade hitting my skin felt like heaven, and a sigh escaped my lips. Scarlet blood ran down my arm.

I've done this for eight years. Ever since I was ten. When I first started cutting, I was afraid to do it. But the feeling on the razor on my skin felt great, so I continued. I have suffered from extreme depression for eight years, and I've had two attempts at suicide. The first one was when I was twelve. I dropped my bathtub radio into my bathtub, electrifying me. That one hurt like shit.

My second attempt was last year, when Aidan had broken-up with me. I hung myself on my shower bar. That one hurt too.

Anyways, my mom didn't find out about my attempted suicide. No one did. I actually didn't mean to survive when I dropped the radio into the bathtub. I blacked out, but I awoke an hour later in cold bath water. I had scorch marks from the electric, but I was okay otherwise. Hanging myself was the worst idea I've ever had. It was so painful. All the blood rushed to my head, and I became super dizzy and lightheaded. I decided that it wasn't worth it.

The next day, I stayed home from school with a major headache and a bad cough. And I regretted hanging myself ever since. I get bad migraines and I cough up blood a lot. Sometimes, when I get my migraines, I throw up blood. I looked online, and found that hanging yourself causes major damage to your lungs and your head. Oh well. That's just another factor of my fucked up life.

Anyways, once I was done cutting myself, I took a shower, and got into bed.

I put Louis's beanie on my head before I went to bed, and I once again cried myself to sleep.

* * *

Two months passed. It was now August, and it was hot in Long Island. No matter how hot it was, I never took off the beanie that Louis gave me. The more popular One Direction became, the more people wanted my beanie. Someone actually tried to wrestle me for it, but I wouldn't let them have it.

On August 4th, I got the exciting news.

On August 14, One Direction was supposed to come back to Madison Square Garden to preform their last summer concert in America

I begged my mom for tickets. I pleaded for backstage access. I NEEDED those tickets. I needed to see Louis again, even if he didn't remember me. I needed an explanation of why he fell for me of all people. _Me_. Suicidal, depressed, and not attractive me.

Anyways, I begged my mom so much that she finally gave in. Even if our house was low income, she still gave in. So I had a ticket to the One Direction concert at Madison Square Garden for August 14th at 8:15pm.

August was going by slow as it is, and once I got the tickets, August 14th seemed to come at the speed of a death march. When the date finally did arrive, however, I was super excited. So excited, that I didn't even eat that day. I didn't want to walk around New York City, so I left my house at seven. It took a fifteen minutes to get to the City, and then I had to get my seat, so that would take about a half an hour.

So I left, and I got stuck in traffic.

As I was sitting there in bumper-to-bumper traffic, I was thinking of Louis. Of how excited I was to see him. I hoped he remembered me.

He probably didn't, but I could still dream.

It actually took me 45 minutes to get to the city, and then fifteen minutes to get to Madison Square Garden. By the time I got there, it was already eight. It took another 15 minutes for me to get my really crappy seat.

The concert started, and as soon as I saw Louis, I froze.

He was still really cute, with his mousy hair and relaxed walk.

But, for some reason, he seemed sad.

He skimmed the audience, but then his face fell. He didn't seem into his performance, and didn't seem to be happy.

I tried to make myself noticed, but I couldn't. I was short, only five foot two, and all the girls around me were taller. I stayed in my seat, while all the other girls were standing up.

When the performance ended, the guys left the stage. Louis seemed to glumly walk out, and Harry clapped him on the shoulder.

I struggled through the crowd of girls, trying to get to them. I needed to see him.

I managed to get to the place Abby and I were last time. The band stood there again. I tried to make an effort for Louis to notice me, but it was hard. The girls hands slapped me as they tried to get to the band.

"Louis!" I screamed, feeling like a fangirl. "LOUIS!"

He didn't seem to notice.

The band made their way towards their bus, and tears stung in my eyes. All this way for nothing.

I started crying. I wanted him so bad. My screams were mere whimpers.

The guys started to get on the bus. The blonde one went first. Then the one with darker skin. Then the one with extremely curly hair. Then Liam.

Louis was the last one. I wanted to jump the metal barrier to get to him.

He cast one last look at the audience.

It was my chance.

"L-Louis!" I tried to scream. It came out as a sob.

He saw me.

His face lit like a lightbulb. My heart soared.

"Louis!" I sobbed. "T-take me with you!"

He read my lips. He took a look at the tour bus.

He seemed to be deciding.

My heart sobbed for him. I felt something towards him. Something that I couldn't deny. His eyes, so beautifully hazel and sparkly, made me falter. His hair, so mousy and brown, made me soar. And his smile, so white and cute, made me dizzy.

He suddenly was walking towards me, and I was so dizzy. He made me dizzy.

He was right in front of me now.

"Brooklyn?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"L-Louis." I whispered. "P-Please..."

His hand came up to cradle my cheek, and a tear slipped out of my eye.

"Take me with you." I whispered.

"I will." He whispered. "I need you."

"I need you too." I whispered.

"Come with me. I'll take you to meet the boys, and then we'll decide what to do then."

"Okay." I whispered.

I looked down at the metal barrier with distaste. How was I going to do this?

"Jump on top of it, and then jump down." Louis whispered.

I jumped on top of it, and smiled to myself. Wow, I was actually doing good.

And then I fell.

I fell onto the concrete on the side Louis was on. I fell hard on my hands and knees, and I heard Louis gasp.

"Brooklyn! Are you okay?!" He asked, rushing to help me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, mortified. I picked myself up, and together Louis and I walked towards their big tour bus. Louis put his hand in mine, and I sighed quietly.

We entered his big tour bus, and I was surprised how warm it was. Louis looked slightly nervous, and we walked up the steps. Louis was in front, and I was behind.

"Hey Lou!" I heard someone say. I looked, and saw the one with extremely curly hair hanging from the ceiling by a rope. Wtf. I giggled.

As I walked up all the way, I saw the rest of the tour bus. The tour bus was cozy, with orange couches that were occupied by the boys. There was a TV in the back of the bus with gaming systems, and a refrigerator covered with photos. Liam was on the couch next to the guy with dark skin. The guy with dark skin had his phone in his hand, and so did Liam. The blonde one was sitting on the opposite couch eating a bag of potato chips. The one with curly hair was still hanging upside down by a rope that was hanging from the ceiling. Then the boys noticed me.

They all froze except for curly haired guy. He said 'oh god' with a voice crack and fell off of the rope. He hit the tour bus floor, cried "ow!" And hugged his leg. I put my hand on my mouth.

"Louis—?" Liam asked. "What?"

"What, what?" Louis asked.

"Who is that?" Liam asked, his voice calm. Louis face split into a smile.

"This is the girl I've been talking to you about, guys! I found her again! And, I have good news!"

"You're getting married?" The guy with curly hair asked. Liam shot him a 'don't joke about that' look. And curly shut up.

"She's coming with us!" Louis said excitedly.

No one said anything.

"Louis... I dunno..." Liam said. Louis's smile faltered slightly.

"Why not!" Louis said.

"Louis, none of us can take our girlfriends with us. Why should you be able to?" Liam asked quietly. Louis's face hardened.

"None of you have felt the way I feel!" Louis said.

"Lou, you tried to get Eleanor to come with us! You said you were in love, and then she broke your heart in two!" Liam said, his voice hard.

"I don't care! She's coming with us!" Louis said loudly.

"How about you guys take a vote?" I asked quietly. "Majority rules."

They stared at me.

"She has a point. Why don't we vote?" Liam asked.

"Okay. How about people who want her to come over there—" he pointed to where the blonde one was sitting, empty potato chip bag in his hand.

"And ones who don't what her to come over here." Louis said, pointing to where the one with dark skin sat.

Everyone stood up and formed a line.

"Okay, Zayn, you're first." Louis said to the one with dark skin. He looked at me. His brown-black eyes were intimidating, and I wanted to look away.

He slowly sat down on the couch on the left, signaling he doesn't want me to come.

"Zayn?" Louis whispered, heartbroken.

"Lou, I'm sorry. But I don't think it's fair. You just met this girl about—" he checked his watch. "Five minutes ago and now you're asking her to join us. If you're allowed to take a total stranger and a _fan_—" he put emphasis on the word fan. "Then we should be allowed to take our girlfriends."

Louis's beautiful face hardened.

"Fine then. Be that way." He spat. "I knew you didn't like me."

"Oh Louis." Zayn sighed. "I hate it when you get like this."

Louis looked away. The guy with curly hair was next.

"Harry?" Louis asked, his eyes pleading. Harry smiled. He sat on Louis's right, signaling that he wanted me to stay.

"If it's what makes Louis happy, then I'll roll with it. Sure, it's not typical, but whatever makes him happy." Harry said. Louis ran and hugged him.

"Thanks, Harry." Louis said.

"No prob, Lou." Harry said. Louis stood up, and walked back over to me. He put his arm around my shoulders. My heart fluttered. This happened so fast. One second I'm depressed and suicidal, the next I'm bunking with the biggest boy band in the world.

Well, _maybe_ bunking with the biggest boy-band in the world. My fate is still being decided.

The next one up was Liam. He immediately chose the one to the left, and Louis didn't even ask for an explanation.

Louis left my side and sat down on the right.

"You don't get to vote!" Liam said heatedly. "You are the one asking for it."

"So? Does that matter? I'm still part of the band. I should have a say."

I don't know if it was my imagination, but when Louis said: "I'm still part of the band," I though Liam muttered, "Not really."

I felt really nervous. Anxiety bubbled in me like acid, and I brought my nails to my wrist. I started making swipes at it. Hopefully they would think I'm just scratching it.

The last one was the blonde one. He looked nervous.

"Come on, Niall!" Louis said.

"I'm indifferent, honestly. I agree and disagree with both sides. I agree with Zayn; I think our girlfriend should be allowed if you're allowed to bring her." Niall said. He shot me a smile. "No offense to you."

"Non-taken." I whispered, still nervous.

"But I also agree with Harry. I want Louis to be happy. And I think we can all agree that we don't want Louis upset. He's a big part of this band." Niall said. Louis smiled.

"So... I'm gonna go with..."

* * *

**MUAHAHAHAHA CLIFFHANGER! MUAHAHAHA I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN A WHILE SO IT FEELS SOOOOOOO GOOD!**

Please review if you don't hate me, and I hope you have a Super Sundae!


	4. Chapter 3: You ARE My Dreams

**Wow, this is the fastest I've posted in a long while. You can thank Snelson for that. She told me that she would either kill me or not talk to me if I didn't post. So, me being afraid of her mighty wrath, thought it would be a good idea to post. Thanks, Sage;)**

* * *

"So... I'm gonna go with..." He looked at both sides.

"I think she should stay." Niall said, sitting on the right.

Louis gave a shout of victory, and leapt onto the coffee table.

"HA HA! IN YOUR FACE!" Louis shouted. He ran over to me, and hugged me. I was momentarily stunned. Holy shit. I got to go with them. Screw college.

Oh god, Abby would be SO jealous.

I smiled. Liam looked upset, but then he looked to me.

"Wait, Lou." Liam said. Louis let me go, and turned to Liam.

"What?" Louis asked.

"We haven't asked her what she wants to do. And Lou—" Liam's tone turned stern. "Have you even asked her if she likes you?"

Louis's jaw dropped.

"Um... No and no." Louis said. "Uh, Brooklyn—"

"Can you call me Brooke? Brooklyn sounds too formal, and unusual." I interrupted.

"Okay. Brooke... Do you, uh, like me?"

I smiled at him. I liked him. I really did. Probably more than I should.

"Oh Louis, I—"

A bang tore through the quiet in the bus. I shrieked and jumped a foot in the air. Louis's arms wrapped around me. The bang was coming from the door. Screams were coming from outside.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, frightened.

"The fans. They try to break down the door." Zayn said calmly. "And aren't you a fan? Don't you do crazy stuff like that?"

I sighed.

"Hold on a sec. Louis, I really do like you. A lot." I said. Louis smiled, and hugged me.

"That's all I ask for." Louis sighed in my ear. He let me go, and I looked to Zayn.

"And no, I'm not a crazed fan. My best friend Abby is, but I didn't even know your names until five minutes ago. And that's all I'm saying." I said. "But if I come with you guys, I need to go back home so I can get my stuff and say goodbye to my mom. Can you, um, you know—?"

"Take you there? No problem." Louis said. "Hey Bert! Can you take us to—wait. Where the hell do you live?"

"Long Island. It's only a half an hour away. Erm, the address is—" I quickly gave him the address, and we were off. Louis sat down, and I just kind of stood there awkwardly.

"You can sit." Louis said. I sat down next to him, my cheeks burning. My god, this is embarrassing.

"So tell us about yourself." Harry said. "Where are you from?"

"Long Island. I've pretty much lived there my whole life, except when I was really little. My mom takes care of me and my little sister, Lily. Lily is great. She's like a miniature me, except she's better than me." I said.

"Do you have a father?" Harry asked.

The mention of a father brought on a new level of hysteria that I managed to choke back, and my nails were cutting my wrist more deeply now.

"N-no." I said, my voice shakily slightly. "I don't have a father."

"Did your mom never marry? Or did they divorce?"

My heart was beating out of my chest, and my wrist was bleeding.

"D-d-divorce." I said, the word divorce not coming out right.

"Why'd they divorce?" Harry asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, bile rising in my throat.

"Okay, fair enough. How about we introduce ourselves? I'm Harry." Harry said, holding out his hand. I took it and shook it.

"That's Niall." Harry said, pointing to where the blonde was sitting. "He's Irish."

"Hello." Niall said, smiling and waving at me. His voice WAS Irish.

"Over there is Liam." Harry said, pointing over to Liam. He waved hi to me without saying anything.

"And that, over there, is Zayn." Harry said. Zayn smiled at me.

"And I'm Louis!" Louis said, snuggling close to me.

"I figured that." I said, smiling. He grinned lazily, and put his head on my shoulder.

About twenty minutes later, the bus stopped. I was home.

"I need to go get my stuff." I said to Louis.

"I'll come with!" He said, standing up. I gulped. Oh god, this is a bad idea. We got out of the bus, and walked up to the porch.

"What's your last name, Brooke? I need to know so I can call your mum Ms." He said.

"My last name is Jones." I said, undoing the lock on the door. We entered my not-so-humble abode, and I called: "mom, I'm home!"

Louis was looking around my tiny foyer.

"Nice place," he said. I smiled. I took a deep breath and began walking towards the kitchen. Louis's trailed somewhat far behind me.

"Brooklyn?" My mom asked. I entered the kitchen, so she could see me.

"Yeah?" I asked nervously. Lily looked up and smiled at me.

"Did you bring me something?" She asked. I signaled that I needed a minute, and she shut up.

"How was the concert?" She asked.

"Great, mom. Uh... I, um, have something to tell you."

"Go ahead." She said.

I swallowed hard.

"Lou?" I asked, calling him by his nickname.

He entered the kitchen where everyone could see his adorableness.

"Ms. Jones?" He asked quietly.

My mom looked shocked and appalled. Lily looked like Christmas had come early. Oh god, she better not do anything stupid.

"I'm Louis Tomlinson. I'm a member of the band One Direction." He said in his adorable voice. My mom stood up, and shook his hand.

"I'm Carolyn Jones." My mom said. "Nice to meet you."

"And you." Louis said. Oh my god, he was so polite.

"Um, mom?" I asked. "I still have to tell you something."

"Fire away." She said.

"I'm going with Louis. I'm going with him and the band." I said.

Silence.

"Why? Why would you go?" My mom asked quietly.

"I can answer that." Louis said. "I want her to come."

"And why is that?" My mom snapped. I shot her a look.

"I feel for her in a way that I've never felt for anyone. I l—really like her."

"I don't approve." My mom said.

"Did I ask of your approval? No. I'm just telling you." I said.

Louis snickered quietly next to me.

"Feisty." He whispered. "I like that."

I grinned.

"I'm going to go pack up my stuff, and then we'll leave." I said.

I ran upstairs, and into my room. I went to the bathroom and packed up all my toiletries, and then I got my razor and cut my wrist twice. It felt good.

I then proceeded to pack up every article of clothing I owned. It wasn't much, so I was done in about five minutes. I quickly touched up my makeup and the coverup on my wrist, brushed my hair, and then grabbed my bag. I ran downstairs, and saw Louis talking to Lily. Lily looked uncomfortable and nervous, while Lou looked completely relaxed. He looked up when he saw me, and smiled.

"You ready to go?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm ready." I said. I looked towards my mom. Her lips were pressed into a tight line.

"You can't stop me." I said coldly.

"I wasn't going to." She said angrily. "But I want you to assess your choices. Think, Brooklyn. You're going off to college in a few weeks! Think; you can get a Master's degree and you can get a job! You can get a real boyfriend and start a family!"

I saw Louis pale at the words 'new boyfriend.'

"I'm a legal adult, mom." I said quietly. "I can choose my own path, and my path lies with Louis."

My mom sighed.

"I guess I can't stop you from making the wrong choice, then." My mom said angrily. "I hope he dumps you, Brooklyn Isabelle."

And with that, she left.

Lily ran forward and hugged me.

"See ya soon, Brooke. Have the time of your life."

And Lily went upstairs.

So it was just Louis and I. Louis looked straight into my emerald eyes.

"Have you made the right choice, Brooke? I... I don't want to keep you from your family or your dreams."

"You ARE my dreams, Louis." I whispered. "It's just gonna be hard."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his shoulder.

"I know." He whispered.

* * *

**OMG I LOVE LOUIS! Sorry, that was my inner fangirl. I promise that won't happen again.**

**Anywho, please review, because it makes me happy, and I hope you have a fantastimastimastimistic Monday!**


	5. Chapter 4: First Night, First Fright

**Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I haven't posted in what feels like forever! I've been busy with school, and soccer. Luckily, the soccer season is over, so I have no more practices or anything. More time to write my stories! Anyways, I have changed the rating of my story to M. This is because this story is very dark, and has to do with a lot of thoughts that could be possibly disturbing. But there still is no sex. **

**Okay, after that way too long intro, on with the very long and long awaited chapter!**

* * *

About five minutes later, I was in the bus with Louis and the band. My head was on Louis's lap, and he was talking and laughing with the boys. I just lay there, trying to memorize his beautifully golden voice. I stifled a yawn, and I checked my phone. Wow, it was eleven already. Time flies when you're with a band of five hot guys.

Louis looked like he was getting tired too. Same with all the other boys.

"Time for bed?" Harry asked, getting up.

"Sure. But where's Brooke gonna sleep?" Louis asked, looking down at me.

"I can just sleep on the couch. It's no biggie." I said, sitting up.

"Are you sure? I can take the couch." Louis offered.

"No. You can have your bed. You've been here much longer than me. It's only fair." I said.

Louis smiled and kissed my forehead.

"You're so considerate. Much more considerate than Eleanor." Louis said. I glowed.

So the boys got up, and bade me goodnight. Louis kissed my forehead again, and left with a wink. I felt my heart race for a second, but then I heard the door slam. I sighed, and got up off the couch. I went over to the kitchen, and started making me my cup of tea. Thank god they had some. I sat down at the small table, and got out my phone.

I went onto YouTube, and started looking at all my subscriptions. HollywireTV had a new video, posted two minutes ago.

"Louis Tomlinson Seeing A Fan?" It was called. My heart sunk like the Titanic. Uh-Oh.

I clicked on the video, and put my headphones in.

"Louis Tomlinson seeing a fan? Or is this just a joke? The teen hottie was seen in Madison Square Garden tonight performing a concert, and after the concert he was signing autographs. The band was getting on the bus when the Tommo was seen talking to a fan. He then helped her get over the barrier, and onto their BUS! OMG! How does this make you feel, Directioners? Do you think the Tommo should fall for her, or do you think that she should go? Tell me in the comments box below!"

With bated breath, I looked to the comments.

There weren't many comments, but they didn't seem to be too bad.

But then I refreshed the page.

Tons and tons of horrible hate comments came through, and I became more upset with each one.

"Who does she think she is? The Tommo is mine!"

"What a whore. She's probably just good in bed."

"Louis is mine, not that slut. What a cunt."

"I hate her!"

"I will KILL you!"

My breath became labored, and I felt tears sting in my eyes. They wanted to kill me. They wanted to murder me for something that I didn't even do!

I got up, ran over to the cabinets, and began rummaging through them for a knife. When I found a sharp one, I got my phone. For every horrible comment, I cut my wrist.

I did this until my arms were covered in cuts. It felt SO good.

I turned off my phone, and quickly got ready for bed. I put on a long sleeve shirt, despite it being hot. No one needs to see the cuts on my arms. I put on sweatpants, and I quickly downed my cup of tea. I sighed, and got into the makeshift bed on the couch. I heard yelling from the bedroom.

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU BREAK IT?!" I heard Louis scream. I smiled to myself as I heard laughter. They were hilarious.

I sighed again, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I awoke at 1am nearly screaming. I had a nightmare. Probably the worst nightmare I have had in a long while. My dad was back with me. He was smiling evilly, butt-naked, and I felt a burning sensation down below my hips.

I covered my mouth to mask the scream that was bubbling in my throat. No no no no no no. No, I can't think about that. I can't think of how it was way back then.

I lay there for a while, my heart beating out of my chest and my whole frame shaking. The dark shadows around the tour bus made me shiver with fright. I always felt like my dad was watching me.

It was getting harder to breathe as the night wore on. I gave up on trying to sleep and stood. I walked silently into the boys room. The room was narrow, and not big at all. The beds were in small cubby holes in the walls, and they looked honestly really comfortable.

Louis was on the bottom cubby to the right, while Harry was on the middle one. Liam's cubby was on top of Harry's, and Niall's and Zayn's were across the narrow room. The only sounds were Harry's small snores, heavy breathing, and muttering from Niall. I sighed softly, and looked down at my Lou sleeping. He looked so peaceful, and I longed to be him. No cares in the word. Just happiness.

The bed looked just big enough to hold two people, so I gently lowered myself next to him. I curled up, my head on his pillow.

His arm was suddenly over me, pulling me closer to him.

"What's wrong?" He whispered. I swallowed.

"B-bad dream." I whispered, my voice breaking. His eyes opened, and he looked at me. I tried to not look at his hazel eyes, that looked blue-green in the darkness.

"Your eyes look different." I whispered.

"They change with whatever I wear. Like, when I wear all red, they turn amber. My eyes match my sense of fashion." He said softly, smiling. His white teeth sparkled in the darkness. I laughed softly.

"Can I, uh, you know, sleep here tonight?" I asked awkwardly. He sighed, and pulled me closer.

"Sure." He whispered. "I'll keep the bad dreams away."

I giggled quietly, and shut my eyes. Soon, Lou's breathing was slow and rhythmic. I breathed in though my nose, and I smelt his beautiful smell. He smelled like trees and mint. Beautiful.

And I was asleep.

* * *

I don't know what time it was when I woke up, but light was seeping in through the extremely small window. I heard sounds of talking, and heavy breathing still. I opened my eyes, and I looked next to me. No Louis. I frowned, sad. I missed him already. I saw the guys getting dressed, and I closed my eyes. I needed to pretend I was still asleep. I heard a door open, and I heard Louis's voice.

"Morning everybody."

"Morning, Lou." I heard Liam say. "You may want to get your girlfriend up. We're gonna be traveling all day."

"Where are we? What state?" My beautiful Louis asked.

"Indiana. We're about an hour away from South Bend." Liam said. I heard movement, and I heard someone approaching me.

"And Lou?" Liam began.

"Hmm?"

"How did she get in your bed in the first place? I hope it isn't what I think it is."

I heard more sounds of movement, and a dull thud. Apparently, Louis had hit Liam with a pillow.

"No! It's... It's not like that. I'm not going to do it until we're married. I ...I wish I would have waited with Eleanor." Louis said, sounding sad and nervous. I wanted to get up and hug him.

"Lou…" Liam whispered. "Just forget about Eleanor. What she did to you was terrible."

"I can't forget. Even if I have found my true love, I can't forget about her." Louis whispered. My heart throbbed.

"Go wake up Brooke." Liam whispered. "She'll make you feel better."

I heard my Lou sigh, and walk over to the bed. His hand lightly touched my shoulder, and I felt his crouch down. I heard him sigh, and I felt his lips lightly touch my cheek.

"I love you." He sighed. My breath caught in my throat. Did he just say he loved me?

His hand lightly traced my face.

"It's time to get up, Brooke." He whispered. My eyes opened, and his face came into view. His beautiful, beautiful face. I blinked, and whispered: "Good morning."

"Good morning." He whispered, smiling. I smiled. My emerald eyes bore into his sea-blue eyes, and I forgot to breathe. I sat up slightly, and my arms throbbed with that action. Ow. Wait, my arms have never throbbed like this before. Even after I cut. I muttered 'ow' under my breath, and stood up.

Louis grabbed my hands, and pulled me close to him.

"Did you have a nightmare last night?" He asked softly. I nodded, my head against his chest.

"What about?" He whispered.

"I can't remember now. It's hazy." I lied softly. I still remember it. I remember everything.

"Okay. At least you're better now." He said, smiling. I tried to smile. It came out as a screwed up frown. It was difficult for me to smile. And I was not better. I was never going to be better.

"I hate to break you're extremely romantic moment-" Liam said. "But Zayn and Niall still need waking up."

And with that, Liam left the room.

Louis let me go, and shouted: "HEY NIALL IF YOU DON'T WAKE UP WE'RE GOING TO BREAKFAST WITHOUT YOU!"

Niall's eyes opened, and he shot upright. His head hit the top of the bunk, and he swore.

"Dammit. Louis, did you really need to do that?"

"It's one of the only ways to get you up. That and shouting that Nandos is having a three for one all-you-can-eat special." Louis said. Niall grinned.

"You know me too well, Louis." Niall said, hopping down from his bunk.

"How do you wake Zayn up?" I asked, curious to see more wake up methods.

"It is almost humanly impossible to wake up Zayn, but we have a good method." Niall said evilly. Louis grinned, mischief in his eyes.

"Oh yes we do." He said. He ran off. Niall looked to me.

"Aren't you hot in that? It's, like, eighty degrees." He said. I shrugged.

"I get cold easily." I said. It wasn't a lie. He smiled and held out his hand.

"I'm Niall, by the way. I don't feel like I've properly introduced myself." I shook his hand.

"I'm Brooke." I said. Niall smiled, showing off his uneven teeth. I looked at them for a second.

"No offense, but do people want you to get braces?" I asked. He smiled again.

"Non-taken. Yeah, Management is always badgering me to get braces. But I've never really wanted them, and I don't really think people would like me with braces. More hate than what I already get."

His smile vanished, and his shoulders drooped. I felt bad for him suddenly.

"Do you get hate?" I asked gently.

He nodded. "More than all the other boys. People tell me I'm not good enough to be in One Direction, and that I'm fake and ugly."

His sadness was apparent, and I put my arm around him.

"Don't listen to them, Niall. They're probably just jealous that you have the fame and they don't." I said truthfully. He cracked another smile, and I smiled at him. I haven't comforted someone in a long time. Well, unless you count hugging Abby when she saw a video of Liam crying. That was stupid.

I heard footsteps, and I retracted the arm that I had around Niall. Louis burst into the room, a bottle of water in his hand.

"You guys are so mean." I said, realizing what Louis was about to do.

"Hey, he won't get up otherwise." Louis said, climbing up to Zayn. He grinned, and then dumped the water bottle on him.

Zayn shot upright, and hit his head also.

"Louis I will kill you." He said. He tried to grab Louis's pajama shirt, but missed. Louis screamed, and jumped down. He grabbed my hand, and ran. I started laughing, and Louis laughed too. It was very open sounding, like he's laughed his whole life. My laugh was short and small, like I've never laughed.

And I barely ever did.

We stopped running at the couch, and he pulled me close. Zayn came into the room, dripping.

"I didn't dump _that _much on you, Zayn. Why are you soaked?" Louis asked, frowning.

"Niall found the water bottle." Zayn said, sounding comically unamused. Louis and I laughed. Harry then came out from the bathroom, his curls perfect. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and baggy jeans. He had his phone in his hand, and with his empty hand, he patted Zayn's soaked hair.

"Hey Zayn. I think you already got your shower." Harry said, smiling. He didn't even look up from his phone. Louis and I laughed again. Niall came in, laughing also. Even Zayn cracked a smile.

"Who gets the shower next?" Harry asked. Louis looked to me.

"Brooke gets it." Louis said. I blushed.

"No, no. You guys have been here longer than I have." I said.

"So? Ladies first." Louis said, kissing me on the cheek. With a jolt, I realized that we haven't actually kissed. Like, lips to lips. We need to do that.

"Fine." I muttered. I got up, and got my stuff. I went to the bathroom, and started the shower. This tour bus was so decked.

I locked the door, and got unchanged. I looked at my naked body in the full length mirror that they had. I was the same as I always was; short and slender. I was five-two, and I only weighed 100 pounds. This was due to an eating disorder I had when I was thirteen. The cuts on my arms were red and pronounced, but they didn't sting anymore. My green eyes were glowing this morning, and my chocolate locks were all tangled. God, I looked like crap. Absolute crap. My hand immediately jerked towards my razor, but I pulled it back. I didn't want to cut this morning. I sighed, and got in the shower.

But I didn't remember what hot water did to cuts.

It felt like my arms were on fire. I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming. I grabbed the washcloth wrack and put a death grip on it. Good god, that hurt like shit.

With my arms on fire, I put shampoo in my hair. I sang quietly. I sang my favorite song of the moment; Lego House by Ed Sheeran.

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces, and build a lego house. If things go wrong we can knock it down. My three words have two meaning, there's one thing on my mind. It's all for you." I sang. I never sang in front of people, because my stage fright was so bad. My mom, curse her, made me try out for the fifth grade play. Because of my horrible luck, I got the main part. I practiced the HELL out of my lines, but when I got up there, I couldn't do it. It was so bad, that when I opened up my mouth to say my line, I threw up. Yup. Now you know why I started cutting when I was ten.

That, and because of something that happened when I was only four.

I don't try to think about that, but it keeps popping up in my mind. Especially when Louis mentioned the topic of sex this morning.

The more I thought about that, the harder it became to live. I just wanted to throw in the towel, but then I thought of Louis. He was the wall that kept me from those death pills. The very funny, and adorable wall.

I don't think I will ever talk about what happened to me when I was little. It's too traumatic, and it makes me want to die whenever I think of it. That, and having kids. That makes me so depressed.

Anyways, I finished with the shower quickly. Usually, I take hour showers, but there were other people waiting for the shower. I quickly got dressed. I put on skinny jeans and a long sleeve blue striped-shirt with a camisole underneath. (I never wear shirts without a camisole underneath. I have no idea why.) I know what you are saying 'why are you wearing that in the middle of summer?'

Well, here's my answer.

I have cuts on my thighs too. They weren't as pronounced as the ones on my arms, but I don't want to answer awkward questions. Abby isn't observant enough to notice, and neither is my mom or my sister. I dried and blow-dried my brown locks. I put a little makeup on, and then exited the bathroom. I checked the time on my phone. Good, I only took fifteen minutes. Louis looked up when I exited, and his eyes lit. I smiled at him, and sat down next to him.

Then it was Zayn's turn for the shower. Then Liam's. Then Niall's. Then Louis's. After that, Louis announced that we were going to stop for breakfast.

That made me frightened beyond belief.

I did not want to be seen with Louis in public. People would send me more hate, and that scared me. I was afraid people would try to kill me, like they said they would.

I snuggled close to Louis when he announced that. I don't know if he noticed my nervousness, but if he did he didn't say anything. When the bus was pulling to a stop, the boys stood up.

I stayed seated.

Louis didn't seem to notice at first, but as he and the boys were leaving the bus, he saw me. My knees were pulled up to my chest, and I was looking elsewhere.

The boys left the bus, besides Louis.

"Brooke? Aren't you coming?" Louis asked me, walking towards me. I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry." I muttered. Louis sat down next to me.

"You have to be hungry. You haven't eaten for more than thirteen hours." Louis said. Wrong. I haven't eaten for more than 24 hours.

My stomach growled, giving me away. I was absolutely starving, but if I didn't eat when I was thirteen, I didn't have to eat now.

"What's wrong?" Louis asked quietly. I swallowed hard.

"I'm scared to go out there?" I whispered.

"Why?" Louis asked quietly.

"Because people want to kill me, and I'm afraid someone will if they see me with you." I whispered.

Louis was quiet for a second, but then said:

"Who wants to kill you?"

"People on Twitter and people on YouTube. I don't know what I did..."

"You didn't do anything. We get that all the time. People always say that they're going to kill us because they hate us for no reason, but it never happens. And just relax; security is going in with us."

I found a way around that statement.

"They can't stop a bullet." I said stubbornly. Louis sighed, and he made me face him.

"Listen to me, Brooke. I will never, ever let anything happen to you. You're way to important to me. I will always keep you from any harm." He whispered. I got lost in his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes...

I snapped back into reality, and got to my feet. Louis smiled.

"I knew you'd see sense."

"No, I saw your eyes. Now you know a way to persuade me to do anything."

"Just look at you?"  
"Yup. Just look at me."

"So if I told you to rob a bank, you would do it if I looked at you?"

I laughed. "I don't think it-"

He looked at me, his blue-green eyes bright. My brain and will turned to mush, and I felt myself go weak at the knees. Louis then looked away, amazed.

"Holy shit, it does work." He said.

"Amazingly." I gasped, putting my hand on the wall for support. He smiled, and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, Brooke. Let's go eat."

I smiled, my heart soaring. We walked off the bus and into the scorching hot air. It must have been at least ninety degrees out there, and I was hot. But I vowed that I wouldn't change. I didn't want anyone seeing my cuts.

The restaurant we stopped at was McDonalds, or as the boys say it, MacDonalds.

"Why McDonalds?" I asked honestly.

"Why not MacDonalds?" Louis asked.

"Wait, say that again." I said.

"MacDonalds." Louis said, confused.

"You say it weird. Maybe it's your British." I said.

"How do you say it?" Lou asked, holding open the door for me.

"McDonalds." I said. Louis snorted.

"You Americans are weird. Like how you say the letter 'z' like 'zee' rather than 'zed.' That's weird."

"You're weird." I said. "Don't knock on my country until you've tried it."

"Patriotic. I like that."

"I'm just kidding around with you. I hate this country with a passion."

Louis burst out laughing. We entered the main part of the restaurant, and I looked around quickly. The place seemed to be nearly empty, with only a few old people sitting around. It looked downright depressing.

"I don't think you have a fear of being seen here, Brooke. This place is empty." Louis said. I sighed in relief. I looked at the other boys, and saw that Liam and Niall were having a poking fight. Every time Niall would look away, Liam would poke him. Eventually, Niall got mad and kneed Liam in the nuts. I giggled as Liam doubled over.

I heard talking outside the restaurant.

"Undecided, voice is numb. Tried to scream out my lungs-"

"Merron, shut up and stop singing!"

"I can sing whenever I want!"

"Mom-!"

"Merron, stop singing. Jack, ask nicer next time."

"Fine."

A family came into the restaurant. There was a mom, a dad, a little boy about eight, a boy about fifteen, and a girl about thirteen. The girl had headphones in, and appeared to be singing. The little boy had a 3DS, and the older boy was looking at his phone. Louis looked at the girl, and the girl looked up at him.

The girl's mouth dropped.

Oh no, she was a fan. She blushed redder than an apple, and looked away. She brought her fingers up to her mouth and began biting her fingernails. She thumbed her throat, and smoothed her hair nervously. The mom looked up, and saw the boys. She didn't seem to recognize the boys, but the girl sure did.

"Let's find a table." The girl said quickly.

"Okay, go stand up with dad and order. Jack, Sam, follow me." The mom said. The girl looked like she was filled with dread as she walk up with her father behind the boys. Louis looked at her again, and she sang under her breath.

"If I'm louder, will you see me? Would you lay down, in my arms and rescue me? 'cause we are the same. You saved me, when you leave it's gone again."

"And then I see you on the street. In his arms, I get weak. My body fails, I'm on my knees. Prayin'" Louis sang. The girl looked up, and her dad looked at Louis and then at her.

"Hi." Louis said. "I take it you're a fan?"

The girl nodded.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like to be noticed in public, but I just love your music and I think you're hilarious. I'm really sorry." She said quickly. Louis laughed. The boys looked at them.

"What's your name?" Louis asked.

"Merron." She said.

"Would you like us to sign something, Merron?" Louis asked gently. She nodded shyly.

So the amazing five boys did so. The girl seemed happy, and she left after that.

"You guys are amazing." I said, moving close to Louis.

"Not as amazing as you are." He whispered.

Soon after that, we got our food. We took it to go, and we left. When we got outside, we saw some people outside examining the bus.

"Paul, what's going on?" Louis asked one of the men.

"The air conditioning is broken on the buses. It's been in use too long, and it sputtered out." The man named Paul said. "So what do we do?" Harry asked, putting his hand in front of his eyes to block out the sun.

"We have to get to L.A by tomorrow night, guys. You know that."

"Oh no. We have to get go, don't we? We have to stay in there, don't we?" Louis asked.

Paul nodded.

"Sorry, boys. We still have 33 hours to drive, and if we want to get there by seven thirty tomorrow, we need to drive our butts off."

"Fine. Do we have any fans?" Harry asked.

"You guys have over millions." I said, making a feeble attempt at a joke.

Louis and Harry groaned at my horrible joke.

"I think there might be one on our bus that you can use." Paul said.

"Good." Louis said.

We got the extremely small fan from their bus, and we headed back to our bus.

"Remember boys!" Paul shouted as we were walking back. "Stay hydrated and keep cool!"

"We'll try." Zayn muttered. "But it's not gonna be easy."

When we entered the bus, it was really hot and humid.

"If there is one thing I hate about America-" Niall said, plopping down on the couch. "-Is the goddamn humidity."

"I agree." I said, sitting down. Louis sat down next to me. I could already see sweat dewing on his forehead.

"You look hot." I said.

"Thanks." He said, smiling down at me.

"In both ways." I agreed. He laughed.

* * *

About two or three hours later, I felt lightheaded and dizzy. The heat got worse as we drove, and I was beginning to feel really sick.

And by the looks of the other boys, they were too.

Harry and Niall had taken off their shirts. Liam, Louis, and Zayn seemed to not want to be shirtless in front of me, even though in the small dirty part of my mind, I really wanted to see Louis shirtless.

Me, meanwhile, felt like I was was going to pass out.

That, or throw up.

But I'd rather pass out.

It must have been at least ninety five degrees in that forsaken bus. I didn't feel well; I didn't think anyone did. Louis looked overheated, and he kept drinking water. I tried to drink water, but it just made my stomach hurt more than it already did. Harry's body was covered with sweat; same with Niall.

"THIS SUCKS!" Niall yelled.

"Talk about it." Harry said.

Louis took a deep breath, and then said: "Fuck it." and poured his water bottle on himself.

He sighed dreamily and leaned back.

"That felt great." He said. I giggled.

Liam came in from the bathroom, and said "Louis, you're wet."

"That's what he said." I said. Louis burst out laughing, and slapped me a high five.

"Bro, I have the best girlfriend ever." He said, putting his arm around me. I smiled. I still hadn't taken off my long sleeve shirt, but I did put on shorts. It barely helped.

About an hour later, the bus seemed to get ten degrees hotter. I could barely breathe, and Louis had taken off his shirt. I tried not to stare at his abs, but it was hard. He was so muscular.

The other boys were getting overheated too. Harry was standing with his head under the sink, and Liam and Zayn were drinking a lot of water. Niall was probably the worst. The poor Irishman had actually gotten so hot that he spiked a fever, and threw up from overheating. The boys and I had to clean him up and Niall, apologizing endlessly, had to run a bath. Now he was sitting in the bathtub with freezing water and ice-cubes, trying to get his fever down. Anyways, we had to quarantine the wet spot where he threw up, and the smell was overwhelming. Louis held me close to his sweaty body, while I felt like I was about to pass out.

"Maybe we should open a window." Liam suggested, opening the window. A warm breeze blew in, not at all helping the heat. It probably made it even hotter.

My head spun suddenly, and my stomach churned with revulsion.

"Lou." I said in alarm. His arm retracting it's grip around me. I sat up, and I felt four pairs of eyes on me.

"Brooke?" Louis asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Just give me a sec." I said, putting my hands on my stomach.

"Do you need something?" Louis asked nervously.

I stood up suddenly, nausea overtaking me. When I stood, a dizzy spell hit me like a wrecking ball. I put my hand on the wall for support. Black spots appeared in front of my eyes, and my ears were filled with a sharp ringing. I felt like I was going down a tunnel, or being pushed deep underwater.

And I knew I had passed out.

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN! I don't really think that counts as a cilffhanger, but I know Snelson will kill me anyways. **

**Please review, because I think Louis Tomlinson has the greatest arse in the world, and I hope you have a Tomlinson Tuesday!**

**(See what I did there?)**


	6. Chapter 5: I'll Keep Your Secrets

(Louis's POV)

I knew Brooke wasn't alright when she said my name in alarm. She looked pale and shaky, and I immediately removed my arm from around her. Oh no, was she getting sick like Niall?

"Brooke?" I asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Just give me a sec." She said, putting her hands on her stomach. Uh-Oh.

"Do you need something?" I asked nervously.

She stood suddenly, swaying. She put her hand on the wall, maybe to steady herself. But then her eyes started to close, and she was about to fall. I got up, and ran and caught her. Her eyes closed fully, and I looked at her beautiful face in a panic.

"Liam, help me." I said. Liam ran over to me, and picked up her legs. Together, we carried her towards the bedroom.

We set her down on the floor, and I quickly put a pillow under her head. I looked down at her long sleeve shirt, and made up my mind. I took off her long sleeve shirt, revealing a camisole underneath. Thank god she thought to wear a camisole. That would have been awkward for both of us.

"I'm going to go get her some water and a damp cloth. Liam, can you watch over her until I'm back?" I asked. Liam nodded.

And I ran off.

(Liam's POV)

Louis ran off, leaving me with Brooke. I looked at her. She was pale, but her chest rose and fell steadily. Her eyes were closed. I examined her, and a trace of red on her arm caught my eye.

My jaw dropped when I saw it.

There were cuts. Cuts everywhere.

She was cutting herself. Oh my god. Why? Why would she do this? Oh. My. God.

I looked closer, and saw scars. So many scars. How long has she been doing this?

I quickly set down her arm and pinned it to her body when I heard footsteps. I knew she didn't want Lou to see it.

Louis rushed back into the room.

"Did she wake up?" He asked. I shook my head.

He got down on his knees, and gently laid down the washcloth on her forehead.

Her eyelids fluttered, and then opened a crack.

"Thank god." Louis croaked. She groaned softly, and made to sit up. Louis helped her gently, and eased a cup of water into her hand.

"Drink." He whispered. "It will help with the dehydration."

She nodded, and took a small sip. But my eyes were on her arms, and how she cautiously moved her arms so that her cuts wouldn't show. She looked like she had years of practice.

I couldn't bear the sight anymore. I left the room.

(Brooke's POV)

I hated darkness. I hated unconsciousness. It made me mad how I couldn't move anything, or how I couldn't see. That led me right back to my hatred of darkness. Because I knew, even unconsciousness, that I was upsetting people. I didn't like that.

But, as soon as the darkness came, it left. I could see colors coming into view. As the vision got more precise, I could see people. I saw Liam, and my Lou. Liam looked like he had just seen a ghost, while Louis looked sad. Oh, I wanted to hug him. To get rid of that sad expression. I opened my eyes, and looked at him.

"Thank god." He croaked. I looked down, and saw my bare arms. Oh no. Oh no no no no.

Louis helped me sit up, and eased a cup of water into my hands. I moved carefully, making sure that I didn't show any of the cuts on my arms. I have had years of practice.

Liam got up and left the room, leaving just me and Lou.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again." He whispered.

"I won't." I said, my voice hoarse.

I expected him to start yelling at me, to be bitterly angry at me and never speak to me. It's all I've ever known.

Maybe that was the reason that he hugged me tight, or the reason that he rubbed my back.

Surprised, I wrapped my arms around him. I didn't even care about the plethora of cuts on my arms.

"You scared the shit out of me, Brooke." Louis said.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

He looked into my eyes.

"You don't even need to apologize." He said. "Because I forgive you."

About nine hours later, we were all getting ready for bed. I told Louis that I would take the couch again, and I didn't listen to his protests. Throughout the rest of the day, Louis made me drink constantly. I really didn't like drinking a ton of water. It made me remember the time I tried to electrify myself. Niall's fever had broken, and the bus air conditioner had been fixed. Thank god. Anyways, Louis gave me a goodnight kiss on the cheek, and they all went to bed. I sighed when they were out of earshot, and I went into the kitchen. I made my typical cup of tea, and sat down. I had a sudden flashback from earlier this morning, and remembered Louis talking about his ex-girlfriend; Eleanor. I searched "What is Louis Tomlinson's ex-girlfriend's name?" on Google.

The answer was Eleanor Calder, and there was a picture with it. The girl was stunnigly beautiful, and I hoped that it wasn't her. There was no way in Hell I could compete with that.

With shaking fingers, I searched Eleanor Calder on Google Images.

The same girl popped up, and my heart sank. I would never be as good as her. No way.

I looked at myself in the camera on my phone. I was ugly. I was so ugly.

Angry and upset, I stood up. I wa

lked over to the drawer with the knives, and got one out. I placed the blade on my wrist.

"Stop! Stop it right now!"

(Liam's POV)

The rest of the day passed by quickly. The air conditioner was repaired, so we finally cooled down. After about nine hours, we thought that it was time for bed. We had a concert tomorrow, so we needed to be somewhat well rested.

Not like we were in the past.

So we bade goodnight to Brooke, and went into our bedroom. I suddenly remembered how she cut herself, and I wanted to stop her.

"I'll be right back." I muttered to the boys. "I, um... I forgot something."

Louis's eyes followed my retreating back, as I walked into the room. I saw her in the kitchen, making herself a cup of tea. She sat down, and looked at her phone. I saw her type in something, and then her face fell. Anger and hurt flashed across her face, and she stood up. She walked over to the drawer. The drawer with the knives.

She placed the blade on her wrist.

"Stop!" I yelled. "Stop it right now!"

(Brooke's POV)

"Stop! Stop it right now!" Someone yelled. I jumped a foot in the air, the knife clattering on the counter.

Liam emerged from the shadows, his face taunt and white. Oh no. This is bad. This is really, really bad. Oh no. Oh no no no. This isn't good. This really isn't good.

"Liam!" I said, my voice not sounding like my own. "I... I wasn't doing anything."  
"Why would you do it?" He whispered. "Why have you been doing it?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, lying through my teeth. Wow, this conversation has not started off well.  
"I've seen the scars, Brooke! I know what you've been doing for so long!" He said, his voice choked.  
"Now you're talking crazy." I said, lying still. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"Bullcrap." He said vehemently. "I know, Brooke. I know."  
"What do you know?" I asked, my voice shaking. He couldn't know. He couldn't possibly know.  
"I know you've been cutting yourself, Brooke. And I want to know why."  
The silence in the kitchen was as thick as custard. Oh god. Oh god he knows. Why does he know?  
"I want to know why." He repeated. "Why would you purposely hurt yourself?"  
"I haven't been hurting myself." I lied. I was on the verge of tears, so my voice was shaky as heck.  
"Yes you have." He said. "I can tell you're lying. I can really tell you're lying."  
"How?" I asked, tears brewing. "You don't understand me. You barely even know me."  
"But I can see through people's lies, Brooke." He said gently. "I know Louis can't. That's why he dated Eleanor. Because he couldn't see through people's lies."  
The mention of Louis brought up a new level of hurt and sadness.  
"You don't know me." I whispered. "You really don't know me."  
"That doesn't even matter, Brooke. I don't need to know you."

"YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" I yelled, my emotions getting the best of me. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THAT MADE ME DO THIS!"

I picked up the knife, and flung it across the room. Liam, clearly alarmed, walked over to be. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes. His brown eyes were intimidating.

"What happened?" He asked, quieter than a feather. "What could have made you self-harm?"

A part of me snapped.

"I was molested as a child." I whispered, my voice sounding like broken glass.

Liam's eyes grew.

"Oh..." He whispered.

The dam keeping my tears in tact broke, and I was soon sobbing in Liam's shoulder. He hugged me.

I heard a door open, but I didn't even notice.

But I did notice Louis's gasp of disbelief.

Oh no.

Liam and I shot apart.

But the damage was done. Louis had seen us.

He looked from me to Liam in disbelief, his eyes turning dark as night. Oh no.

"What?" He whispered. "What?"

"It's not what you think!" I said shrilly.

"It's exactly what I think it is." Louis said. "You cheated on me."

"Lou—"

"SHUT UP, LIAM! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Louis screamed.

Liam's eyes shone with hurt.

"Lou, I didn't do anything!" Liam said, his voice hurt.

"SHUT UP!" Louis yelled. "JUST SHUT UP!"

"But Lou—"

"SHUT UP, LIAM! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!"

"It isn't—"

Louis ran forward, and before my very eyes, punched Liam straight in the face.

Liam crumpled, pinching his bleeding nose. His eye was already turning black.

Louis delivered another strong punch in his stomach and kicked him.

"LOUIS!" I screamed. "STOP IT! YOU'RE HURTING HIM!"

_Crash!_ Doors flew open. Harry, Niall, and Zayn ran in. They each took a look at the scene before them, and immediately sprung into action. Zayn quickly grabbed Louis by the stomach and pulled him away. He put his hands on Louis's arms in a restraint. Niall ran over to a hurt and crying Liam.

And that was when my emotions snapped in half.

The weight of my sorrow weighed me down, and I slid down the cabinets. I buried my face in my hands, and sobbed. My heart hurt, and my emotions poured through my eyes.

I cried for what felt like a long while, when there was suddenly an arm around me, comforting me. I looked up, and saw a mass of curly hair. Harry.

"It's okay, Brooke." He whispered. I sniffed, looking at my surroundings. Zayn and Louis were talking quietly. Louis's eyes were red and puffy, and Zayn had his arm around him. Niall was holding an ice pack to Liam's eye, and Liam was pinching his nose. There was a bin in front of him. Every few seconds, Liam would retch violently and spit blood into the bin. Uh-Oh.

"It's all my fault." I whispered, rocking back and forth. "I did this."

"You did nothing." Harry said. "Louis was tired, and he was thinking about Eleanor. He saw Liam hugging you, and he went ballistic. It's okay, Brooke. It's okay."

I sniffed again and wiped my eyes. I looked back over to Lou, and saw him looked down at his hands. I saw Zayn lean in, and whisper something to Louis. Louis got up, and walked over to Liam. Niall looked up at Louis, stood up, and hugged him. Louis gripped the back of Niall's shirt.

Niall let him go, and Louis sat down next to Liam. Liam looked at him, and embraced him. Louis hugged him back.

I wanted to hug both of them, but I knew I wasn't welcome. Hell, I probably wasn't even welcome in their tour bus anymore. I looked towards the knife. The knife that I flung across the room. I could do it. I could do it right now. Just end it. End life.

I wanted to. I actually started to, sitting up straight.

I looked at Louis. He and Liam were talking in whispers. Probably about me. I hated it when people talk about me behind my back. It made my desire to kill myself even greater. I stood up, and opened the drawer behind me. Knives.

I reached inside, and felt the handle of one. I could do it.

I thought of death; how calming it would be for it to just end.

But I knew it wasn't my time.

I closed the drawer, and sat back down. I really wanted to do it, but it didn't seem like the right thing to do. Especially in front of everyone.

Plus, Liam had his eyes on me. Every movement, he was carefully watching. I felt very self conscious, and I stared down at my hands. I tried not to look at Liam, or Louis, or Harry, or Niall, or even Zayn. I tried to just not look at anyone. I didn't want them to be even angrier at me then before.

I heard movement, and the sound of someone walking. I didn't look.

I was soon engulfed in someone's arms, and I finally looked at the person.

It was Louis. He was here to comfort me. Or yell at me. Or call me a terrible human being. Or to kick me off the tour bus.

But he was hugging me, whispering in my ear, and rocking back and forth. I tried not to cry, but it seemed inevitable. The tears finally came; fast and plentiful. My heart hurt, and so did my wrist. It hurt from years of cutting. Years of pain.

I heard more footsteps, and then I heard a door slam. The other guys probably went to bed.

But Louis stayed. He stayed for me.

I didn't know what time it was when he let me go, picked me up, and laid me on the couch. But I knew it was late, as there were barely any cars flying by the tour bus. He kissed my cheek, whispered something that I couldn't make out in my ear, and left me to doze of to sleep.

* * *

**Please review, because it makes me happy, and I hope you have Super Fantastic Awesome Splendid Amazing Day!**


End file.
